it's my birthday tomorrow. i totally hate birthdays! i'm not exactly sure why but i always expect that something great will happen on my birthday.. i'll get some great surprise that i wasn't anticipating at all or my long lost friends will call me up and say they are in town just for my birthday! It never happens though, and it's always disappointing. It shouldn't be, i should just be happy that i've made it to another year and i have a family that loves me and friends who make me happy more often than disappoint me, but yet, there is still that small, but nagging feeling of wanting something more.
i'm going to be twenty-four. that sounds so old to me! i can just picture my seven-year-old self staring up at it's twenty-four-year-old future self asking "who are you? that's what i'm going to be in seventeen years?" (i hope i'm not a disappointment!)
I think i'm doing alright. the past twenty-three years have been a mishmash of trying and learning and living and failing and breaking and re-making. I am becoming so much so quickly, and nothing so slowly. And, i think that i am right where i am supposed to be. Right in the middle of confusion and chaos... yet so much peace and confirmation. I can't wait for what i'll become at twenty-four... i have a feeling it will be grand!
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