Underwater

last night i had a dream:
i was talking to you
in despair-
you were listening.
and lying on my bed
everything went dark
and i couldn't speak
and water began rising around me.

i was drowing
and you were asking:
"what would make you happy?"
i couldn't speak-
i was drowning.
but i was breathing
and my voice was quite
and i wanted to recite a list of happy things.
i was sinking underwater,
in darkness
i was afraid.

Above me
i saw dim light
and fish were swimming around me
under and above me
and i was clutching the phone,
but i was silent
and you were gone.
and the fish swam around and through me
and it was dark
and i was scared.

i closed my eyes
breathing slowly underwater
i was alone
with fish
and throughts of what would make me happy
and then i was gone.