have you ever realized that sometimes, without even knowing it, we attach a ton of expectation to certain things and there is no way that those things could possibly live up to all the expectation. I know this in my head, but I am constantly forgetting it. i forgot it this past weekend when my boyfriend and i embarked on our first "mini-break" (as they say in England) as boyfriend and girlfriend. We had been planning our trip to Chicago for about a month... i was so excited to experience big city life with my new boyfriend! everything was planned perfectly in my head.. a nice romantic dinner, walking through the city at night, laughing and holding hands during the day as we wandered through museums or walked through the streets people watching. I envisioned us having intelligent conversations about the price of tea in Europe.... in short, i imagined that we were two completely different people. Apparently when i dreamed everything up in my head, i failed to insert the two key players, Mike and myself! I should realize by now that the moment i think that things are perfect is the moment that inevitably something will piss me off. Suffice it to say, things were not perfect and I think Mike and I fought more in one day than we've fought in the seven months that we've known each other. Although, i have to admit that most of the arguments were my fault.
Really, things weren't as bad as i make them out to be it's just that the actual weekend didn't go the way i'd planned. We did have a nice time... we did enjoy each other's company and the sites of the city. We had the romantic dinner and the laughing and holding hands while walking through the streets... but there were also moments of complete frustration. I'm learning that this is pretty normal. No couple is perfect, no person is perfect... and besides, what fun would it be if you didn't disagree? What would you learn about each other? I did learn that Mike is a trooper.. Completely patient with my shenanigans and sometimes ridiculously sour moods. He is concerned and willing to hear my side of things... even when i don't deserve to be listened to because i am being completely outrageous. For this i am so thankful... he is beyond my expectations! (thank you, love).
Our next vacation will hopefully hold no expectation... (is that possible?)
Monday, August 01, 2005
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