expectations and obligations

I really have a hard time disappointing people. I'm no good at it. If someone asks me to do something for them and i really have no "good" excuse not to, i generally do it even if i don't want to do it at all. I think this may be a problem because sometimes i can get myself into some sticky situations... not being able to say "NO" and all. For the most part, however, i only get asked to do things that are inconvenient for me... such as go out of my way to get milk for a friend because she left it at her mom's house and doesn't want to waste it. But anyway...

My real point is that every person in my life has a certain set of expectations for me. My parents expect me to get a good job and make a good life for myself... just as i expect these same things from myself, but they have a different "idea" of how i should go about fulfilling those expectations. My friends expect me to lend a listening ear and spend time with them... and i see no problem with that, except when they want me to devote the entire week to their "needs". (not that any of them really do this... but you get my point). My boyfriend has various expectations of his own... mostly the same expectations i have for him but obviously varied due to gender. My job, my church, my co-workers, my clients... they all have expectations of me and sometimes i just want to scream!!

I am a people pleaser and like i mentioned before, i will do most anything to make people happy, even if it requires me to lose a little of myself in the process. I feel obligated to people. I think, "if i don't help them, who will" so i sometimes take on the "burdens of the world" because i think i'm the only one who can. I know in my heart that this is not true, but tell that to my head.

Lately i have been feeling stretched. I don't want to go into all of it here, but i'm beginning to realize that in order to be truly happy, i have to be true to myself. Some people have expectations for me which far exceed any that i have for myself... because either they don't quite know who i am or because they can only see my situation from a narrow perspective. Either way, it's not fair for me to have to feel obligated to fulfill their expectations only because they are important in my life. I want those people to love me, but will they really deny me love because i don't meet their expectations? Maybe their expectations are grandiose and are impossible to reach, not only for me, but for anyone... or maybe i am placing too much importance on making other people happy, when in actuality, the only way i can make others happy is by first being happy myself. If i am stretched and drained and wearing thin... i can do no good for anyone.

"To know what you prefer, instead of humbly saying Amen to what the world tells you that you ought to prefer, is to have kept your soul alive." ~Robert Louis Stevenson