We may not have Wilson, but at least we have each other

Mike and I had our first REAL fight today. That probably isn't something that should be announced to the blogging community, but i just want to talk about it for a moment.
I made a mistake... correction, i made a major mistake. I did something I knew was wrong and I knew it would make Mike upset, but i did it anyway. I was thinking about myself and not really caring how it would make him feel. That was my second mistake. I also completely under-estimated how upset he would be with me... which in all actuality shouldn't have mattered, the minute i thought that it would upset him should have been the minute i stopped considering doing it. Unfortunately i am completely and utterly selfish and I had no regard for anyone but myself. Damn me.
Mike was really upset with me, we both said some things that we didn't really mean.. and we wasted a lot of time arguing over stupid points. I hate fighting... i hate trying to be mean and stubborn and difficult because it is exhausting! But, as much as i hate fighting, the process always brings me to the realization that true love can make it through anything. Mike is amazing and wonderful and more than i deserve... he knows with i need a swift kick in the ass! He puts me in my place even though i fight hard against it. He lets me kick and scream and exhaust myself and then he brings me back to the reality.. the truth at hand. This time he was the innocent one and i kept pointing my finger at him.. he didn't let me get away with that. He is quick to forgive, where i'm often quick to condemn... calmly answering me when i interrigate him.
It's hard for me sometimes, i don't always feel like i measure up.. i don't always feel good about my past and some of the baggage i have brought into our relationship. Sometimes i feel like i'm failing over and over and will contine to fail. And then i wake up and realize that's absolutely true... i'm human. However, Mike has a way of erasing all of that self-doubt, a way of making my mistakes look beautiful because they bring us one step closer to each other. I love this about him!
I love him! How could i possibly be so lucky?

**Mike, thank you for not giving up on me... i love you!***


ASIDE:
tonight i found a flesh colored fungus growing in our front yard... i kid you not, it looks like a penis. if i was computer savy, i'd post a picture of it! (thought you all needed to know!)