Maybe this is what we were thinking all along

It has been overcast and a cool 85 degrees for the past couple of days; excellent fall weather, at least for the desert, and perfect for reflecting my melancholy mood. I love overcast days when the sky grows angry and dark, like an irate father, and tricks me into believing it might shower down furious and violent daggers of rain and lightning. The clouds grow so pregnant with moisture. They carpet the sky, absorbing sound and speed, it seems. Everything is slower and gray and brilliant, oh so brilliant! The earth is holding its breath, and in a way, so am I. It is a welcome change from the excruciatingly hot days in the Arizona sun, not that I’m complaining, because I really do love the sun and the heat, but as Adam Durwitz sings, sometimes ‘I’d like to wash this sunny day down to the gutter’.

This weather is comforting, like being wrapped in a worn and familiar blanket and snuggling close to the one you love; and deliciously dizzying, conjuring up memories of hay rides and corn mazes and bonfires and sweatshirts and runny noses and football games and first kisses and cold apple cider….I love it. It makes me nostalgic for years and memories when I was younger and innocent and full of wonder…believing that the world and people where nothing if not full of love and understanding and hope. Taking me back to a time when it was easy to believe that possibilities were endless and responsibility was nil unless it involved making my bed and washing behind my ears…but, alas, life has a way of growing us into beings who are cynical; teaching us that being vulnerable is dangerous and believing in goodness is perverse. I think, though, it doesn’t have to be that way. I’m learning that it’s cynicism and a lack of vulnerability that is damaging, that not believing in goodness only causes my heart to ache.

I’m not sure how the weather brought me to contemplating the condition of my heart, but are you really surprised? I mean, this is me you’re reading.

On a lighter note, the other day I woke up and walked outside with my cup of coffee and in less than a minute a nasty, hateful bee flew down and stung me on the lip. What was that about anyway?!

So long, dear friends! Remember to trust your instincts and when something seems wrong, it probably is… and watch out for those pesky bees, you never know where they might sting next!