Reflections

And would it have been worth it, after all,
After the cups, the marmalade, the tea,
Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,
Would it have been worth while,
To have bitten off the matter with a smile,
To have squeezed the universe into a ball
To roll it toward some overwhelming question,
To say: “I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all”—
If one, settling a pillow by her head,
Should say: “That is not what I meant at all.
That is not it, at all.”

And would it have been worth it, after all,
Would it have been worth while,
After the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets,
After the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts that trail along the floor—
And this, and so much more?—
It is impossible to say just what I mean!
But as if a magic lantern threw the nerves in patterns on a screen:
Would it have been worth while
If one, settling a pillow or throwing off a shawl,
And turning toward the window, should say:
“That is not it at all,
That is not what I meant, at all.”

T.S. Eliot from "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock"

I love you, Peytie

Dear Peyton,
You don't really know me, but I know you pretty well. And, it's kind of like we do know each other because I used to live in Indianapolis, really close to the RCA Dome where you used to play before they built Lucas Oil Stadium. I also worked in Greenwood, IN where I know you have a house...but you never came into the library to visit me, bummer. I also have sort of touched you because this one time my parents were at a Ghost Town in Arizona at the exact same time that Tony Dungy, your head coach, was there and my parents got to meet him and shake his hand. It's kinda like I was shaking your hand because I know that you must shake hands with Tony and I touch my parents hands sometimes...cool, huh?! Plus, one of my friends has this friend who was at a bar one time and you and your buddies came in to the bar after one of your football games and he gave you a high-five! So, we are practically best friends! (that guy also said that you had really soft hands...is that a QB thing or something?!)
Anyway, I'm writing you this letter because I wanted to tell you how sorry I am that I'm not able to see very many of your games this year. You know how I used to live in Indy? Well, now I'm living in Phoenix, AZ and apparently more people in Indy watch the Colts than they do in Phoenix, which is super disappointing and I probably would have waited to move until after football season if I had been made aware of this situation. I did, however, get to watch the first game of the season on Direct TV Sports Package, but I have to tell you, friend to friend, that really wasn't one of your best games, I was a little upset with you and had to turn the game off before the end (which I've NEVER done in my life!). But anyway, I really hate that I don't get to watch you ever Sunday. I do sit in front of my computer watching the play-by-play, but frankly I don't really understand it and it's a little more difficult to follow than watching the actual game (do you think maybe you could explain it to me over coffee sometime?!). Also, I don't get to watch you throw the ball, which is really the highlight of the game in the first place. Do you think you could maybe talk to the broadcast people out here and convince them to show more Colts games instead of the stupid Bears?! (I don't really hate the Bears, I threw that in because of how badly they beat you in the first game.) The good thing is, though, that I can see some of the game replayed when I'm working out at the gym because every TV is on ESPN...it's really the only reason I go!
Well, I just wanted you to know that I was really impressed with your style last Sunday. You must be feeling much more confident now since your surgery. I'm sorry I didn't send you a card or flowers when you were in the hospital. I didn't find out about it until the first game.
Anyway, keep up the good work, because I will be paying attention to the games and I know you don't want to disappoint me! Say hi to Ashley for me. I heard that you two might be getting a divorce? Please tell me that's just gossip. Can't wait to hear from you!

Your's Truly,

Heather

I hope you know what you are doing

I'm a little confused. I don't really understand finances that much, but it's hard to avoid the fact that our market is not doing so well in the money department...mainly because I can't watch SNL without being forced to see a skit about politics or money...geesh, the nerve! For some of us, Ignorance is Bliss, and I watch TV for entertainment, not for education... can I get an Amen?!* Seriously, someone should get this situation under control, because my IRA is loosing money.
Apparently, if we are to believe politicians, Obama and McCain both have a plan to get us out of this mess, which I'm ALL for... I just want to go back to watching funny stuff on TV again... so boys, I hope you know what you're doing, because I can't take much more of this!

Anyway, in honor of this horrible financial crisis, I have a funny comic to share with you, once again thanks to Married to the Sea. Those kids are just so funny!


marriedtothesea.com

And remember, if you think this is bad, just wait.


*I'm not actually serious!

It's just a way of life

So, I have to admit it.. I'm a mix tape kinda girl! I remember making mix tapes for my friends when I was in middle school, I'd even have a little personalized message at the end telling them how great a friend they were! As I got older, though, I stopped making mix tapes for other people (no one really liked or understood the kind of music I was listening to) and started making them exclusively for myself. They were, in a way, a documentation of what I was going through in my life at the time; some people keep journals, some people scrapbook, I make mix tapes! Being that music plays a ginormous role in my life, it's only fitting that during such a tumultuous time in my life: being broke, jobless, dogless, homeless, and in a foreign world; and this country's life with all the economic unrest, I have complied the 'ultimate' Mix Tape! Lucky for you I have decided to share it! I hope the sounds and words soothe your soul!

1) Can't Believe It by T-Pain
2) Hurt You by The Sounds
3) You Can't Count On Me by Counting Crows
4) Foundations by Kate Nash
5) Title and Registration by Death Cab for Cutie
6) The District Sleeps Alone Tonight by The Postal Service
7) Can't Go Back Now by The Weepies
8) It's a Hit by Rilo Kiley
9) House of Cards by Radiohead
10) Read My Mind by The Killers
11) Paper Planes by M.I.A
12) Ghosts by Laura Marling
13) Young Folks by Peter Bjorn and John
14) Intervention by Arcade Fire
15) America by Simon and Garfunkel

Maybe this is what we were thinking all along

It has been overcast and a cool 85 degrees for the past couple of days; excellent fall weather, at least for the desert, and perfect for reflecting my melancholy mood. I love overcast days when the sky grows angry and dark, like an irate father, and tricks me into believing it might shower down furious and violent daggers of rain and lightning. The clouds grow so pregnant with moisture. They carpet the sky, absorbing sound and speed, it seems. Everything is slower and gray and brilliant, oh so brilliant! The earth is holding its breath, and in a way, so am I. It is a welcome change from the excruciatingly hot days in the Arizona sun, not that I’m complaining, because I really do love the sun and the heat, but as Adam Durwitz sings, sometimes ‘I’d like to wash this sunny day down to the gutter’.

This weather is comforting, like being wrapped in a worn and familiar blanket and snuggling close to the one you love; and deliciously dizzying, conjuring up memories of hay rides and corn mazes and bonfires and sweatshirts and runny noses and football games and first kisses and cold apple cider….I love it. It makes me nostalgic for years and memories when I was younger and innocent and full of wonder…believing that the world and people where nothing if not full of love and understanding and hope. Taking me back to a time when it was easy to believe that possibilities were endless and responsibility was nil unless it involved making my bed and washing behind my ears…but, alas, life has a way of growing us into beings who are cynical; teaching us that being vulnerable is dangerous and believing in goodness is perverse. I think, though, it doesn’t have to be that way. I’m learning that it’s cynicism and a lack of vulnerability that is damaging, that not believing in goodness only causes my heart to ache.

I’m not sure how the weather brought me to contemplating the condition of my heart, but are you really surprised? I mean, this is me you’re reading.

On a lighter note, the other day I woke up and walked outside with my cup of coffee and in less than a minute a nasty, hateful bee flew down and stung me on the lip. What was that about anyway?!

So long, dear friends! Remember to trust your instincts and when something seems wrong, it probably is… and watch out for those pesky bees, you never know where they might sting next!

Interview questions we hate

It's no secret I have been looking for a job for the past, eh, three months or so, and FYI,looking for a job sucks. But what sucks even more are those retarded interview questions! You all know the ones I'm talking about: 'How would you describe excellent customer service?' 'Tell me about yourself' 'Tell me about a time when.....' and the absolute dreaded question 'Where do you see yourself in 5 years'. I always get tripped up on this question because where I honestly want to see myself in 5 years is laying on the beach with my Latin lover sipping cocktails and planning my next international trip, but I don't really think that answer will fly! So, what do you say? I never really know and I make something up at the time that involves the words: advancing, successful, your company. So, really, how are you supposed to answer that question? Tips anyone?! Anyway, I found this comic today when I was reading through the funny and politically incorrect Married To The Sea website and I thought it was perfect and I think I'm probably going to use this line in my next interview just to see if the employer can take a joke. Hey, don't they say that not only are you the interviewee, you're also the interviewer? I have to know that the company that I may potentially be working for will fit my personality!! So, for all of you who know where I am coming from, enjoy!! And remember, the truth might be hard to take, but ultimately, it's what you gotta hear(or speak).


marriedtothesea.com

p.s. I think after I say 'vacation approved' I'm going to add the word 'bitches'! Gets 'em every time!