tears

Something you said last night
took me by surprise
and painted an incredibly beautiful
and haunting portrait
of you,
one i've never seen before,
but will forever be in love with.
It's you,
weeping and frozen
standing waist deep
in a pool of swiftly moving river-
hating yourself
and begging for Grace
from a God who is ominously silent
except for the whispers bubbling up on the bank of the river.
It's you,
hopeless and desperate
with wet blue lips
and clothes so drenched they could be mistaken for skin.
You did something so simple and soft
and quiet-
a phone call to your dad (my heart is breaking)
with nothing in particular to say (except all the particulars in the world)
you talked
while the world was dark and chaotic around you
while the rain sent shivers through your soul,
you slowed down
and listened- to the love that created you.
And slowly
nothing around you changed
and the darkness you felt inside didn't leave
and the fear you had wasn't extinguished
and the confusion still couldn't be shaken
but
you saw something that changed the outcome,
something worth holding onto-that you knew held you.
You didn't lie down in the water and wash away.
You stepped onto the soaking, muddy earth
and surrendered to the knowledge that life
isn't sweet or kind
but it's rising and falling in your chest
and you need it
and you need moments like this
when tears well up in my eyes.