California Dream'n

when i'm upset, or i've had a really bad day; when i'm sinking into the mire of my life and feeling useless and insignificant, i dream of California.
i imagine what my life would have been like if I had i gone, like i had always imagined i would, to California for college. i imagine the people i would have met, the guys i would have dated, the water i would have surfed in, the body i would have been forced to maintain, the tan i would have sported year long. I wonder at the person i would have become had i moved into the world of the west coast. Would I have stayed all 4 years? Would i be married now, spending my evenings rocking a baby? Would I have stayed in California, be there now working as a photographer, or maybe a nurse? Would I love my job or would i hate it, the same as i do now?
it's easy, when i'm discouraged about where life has taken me, to believe that my life would be fantastically different if i had moved to California. And maybe it would be. Or maybe it would be the same, or worse. does our location determine our situation?
regardless, tonight i wish for the long sunsets and sandy beaches of southern California.... it's been one of those days.